We all have an inherent desire to feel safe, to be comfortable, to be in situations that are familiar. Uncertainty and change scares us. And yet with the increased prevalence of connectivity in today’s world, change and uncertainty have become much more common. The discomfort rises. The need to feel secure has increased. How do we cope in this “new world order”?
We cope by recognizing what drives our sense of security. By recognizing that while change and uncertainty are more common, the tools we have to combat their increased prevalence are well known, easy to apply, and effective.
The first step is to recognize “need versus want”. The fact is most of us are spoiled. We need much less than we want. Taking the time to step back and reflect on what we really need allows us to identify those things that are most important. To recognize that we have control over those things that matter.
Once we recognize our base needs, we can face the stimulus that is driving our insecurity. 99 times out of 100 it’s transient in nature. The cause of our fear simply does not have the requisite staying power to dominate our psyche over a long period of time. Once we recognize that the situation we are facing won’t be there tomorrow, it does not seem nearly so daunting.
The third step is to acknowledge the discomfort. All too often we shy away from recognizing fear exists. We’re brave. We’re strong. Nothing can hurt us. BS. There’s a reason we lack a sense of security in certain situations. The autonomous systems have processed the various stimuli and concluded that we “must” feel insecure. By consciously acknowledging the insecurity, we transfer control from the subconscious to the conscious. We’re then prepared to move past the insecurity.
Which leads us to action. Once we have recognized what we need, understood that the situation is transient, and consciously acknowledged our fear, we simply take the next step and move forward. The fear literally moves behind us as we move forward.
Finally, we reclaim our personal security by recognizing it’s the “only” alternative – ultimately choosing to feel secure is all about a conscious choice to put our fears aside. And the alternative – letting fear control us – is simply not worth considering.
With that in mind:
Are you going to choose to be secure or let someone else dictate the terms of your life?
As always, thanks for the time.
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